Archives For saintdepraved

Profane Worship – What Depeche Mode and the Bravery teach me about worship

May 21, 2013 — Leave a comment
pro·fane  (pr-fn, pr-) adj.
1. Marked by contempt or irreverence for what is sacred.
2. Nonreligious in subject matter, form, or use; secular: sacred and profane music.
Profane Worship - She Wants Revenge

Profane Worship – She Wants Revenge

I envy people who worship easily. I don’t.

There are songs I won’t sing (“It Is Well With my Soul”, because it’s not) and there are lines I won’t sing (“Jesus you are all I want”, because He’s not).

I envy people who can sing these songs because they are true for them.

I also envy people who can sing these lines because they want them to be true for them.

I can’t.

I envy people who can worship now for the way it will be like then.

I don’t.

But I do worship.

I even love some traditional hymns, especially “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.”

I can worship with Robert Robinson when he says,

Prone to wonder Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.

I feel that way sometimes. I, too, am prone to wonder. I, too, am prone to leave the God I love.

I get that.

I also love Amazing Grace. I can worship with John Newton when he says,

Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me.

As I’ve said before, I’ve got my own sh!t.

I get these hymns.

I feel these words.

I even like some modern worship/praise songs, especially “Blessed be Your name.”

I can worship with Matt Redman when he says,

Blessed be Your name. When the sun’s shining down on me. When the world’s all as it should be. Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name. On the road marked with suffering. Though there’s pain in the offering. Blessed be Your name

Most modern praise songs tend to be about the bright and shiny parts of life.

I like that this one is also about the darker and dirty parts.

Because that’s my life.

My life does indeed have the bright and shining moments! Much of my life is amazingly beautiful!

But I have also walked the “road marked with suffering.”

And there has been “pain in the offering.”

My life is both of these.

And so this becomes my prayer.

But more often than not I worship with a profane worship.

I worship with songs written by people who don’t believe in – and are at times even hostile towards – the God love.

Profane Worship - Peter Murphy

Profane Worship – Peter Murphy

Regardless of what I do with Reel Parables, I don’t tend to see God everywhere or in everything.

I don’t usually see a beautiful sunrise (like the ones I’ve seen off the coast of Florida) or a beautiful sunset (like I’ve seen off the coast of California and Mexico) and immediately praise God or thank Him fr His amazing creation.

Worship does not always come easily for me.

But I do feel what others feel. And sometimes its the non-religious ones that capture my feelings the best.

The Sinner in Me – Depeche Mode

When Dave Gahan sings,

If I could just hide, the sinner inside, and keep him denied. How great life would be, if I could be free, from the sinner in me.”

I know what he means.

As I wrote here I am very aware of my sin.

This song becomes my song of confession and gives me the outlet to confess my sins to God. (I John 1:9-10)

I don’t wallow in them.

I’m reminded of them.

I confess them.

And it reminds me that God already took care of them. And that draws me closer to God.

Why? Because he loves me unconditionally.

Put another way, God loves me despite all of my past, current or future sh!t.

See also Depeche Mode’s Wrong and Social Distortion’s I was Wrong.

Unconditional – the Bravery

I’ve spent my whole life surrounded and I’ve spent my whole life alone.

I wonder why I never wonder why the easiest things are so hard.

I just want, I just want love. I just want, I just want love. I just want, I just want love.

I just want something, something for nothing. Something, something for nothing.

I get this song. I too want unconditional love (see above).

And when Sam Endicott wonders why the easiest things are so hard, I get it!

This song becomes my prayer as I wrestle with how God could love me so unconditionally.

For I don’t understand what I am doing. For I do not do what I want – instead, I do what I hate.

Romans 7:15

Indeed. Why are the easiest things so hard?

Regardless, I found what the Bravery longs for. I found my unconditional love.

But God demonstrates his own love for us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

God loved me before I every loved Him. His love for me is not conditional on my love for Him.

God loves me unconditional.

When I sing this song I praise God that He loves me that way.

I praise God that He loves me unconditionally.

Do you do the same? What songs allow you to easily worship?

In Hope, Music that Matters
permalink
Peter Murphy Mr Cool

Community – What Peter Murphy and She Wants Revenge Taught Me About Real Community

May 8, 2013 — Leave a comment

We are made for community.

It’s true you know.

Not because Google says its true. But because it is just true.

We are made for community.

Here’s the rub, community is not always easy to find.

I saw Peter Murphy and She Wants Revenge in concert. It was my first time to see both. It was amazing.

I cannot say for sure, but I am pretty sure I was the only Christian there.

If you know anything about their music or their culture you know it is not very “Christian friendly.”

But as I stood in line with the Goths and the ghouls I felt strangely at home.

I fit in.

I belonged.

So there I was crammed into the Door.

Hot.

Sweaty.

Tired.

Singing and dancing.

I met a couple who came to see Peter Murphy but fell in love with She Wants Revenge.

The three of us made mock fun of the poor band who had to open for them both. They were forgettable at best and no one was there to see them. Poor things.

The couple and I talked about Peter Murphy’s new-found love of crazy hats and wondered if he would wear one (he did not).

What Peter Murphy Taught me About Community and spitting rosesWhat Peter Murphy Taught me About Community and spitting roses

I met Adam Braven from SWR. We chatted. Took a few photos. He was kind enough to sign my concert shirt. Yea, I acted like a typical fan.

We sang and danced.

We watched some random guy totally ignore his VERY turned on date. (Seriously, this guy could have had the night of his life!)

We marveled at the energy of the youth and admitted that yes, youth is indeed wasted on the young.

It pains me to say it, but that was a nice change.

Peter Murphy and She Wants Revenge Concert PosterPeter Murphy and She Wants Revenge Concert Poster

I had recently returned from a 3 month business trip to Costa Rica. During that trip our church made a few changes. One was to disband the only place where I connected.

So here I am attending a church where I don’t really belong. A church that we never did join.

The harder we tried to fit in at that church the more we didn’t fit and the more we didn’t belong.

At one point an atheist friend suggested that we find another church. Irony.

What we had in common – our faith! – was overshadowed by the minor things on which we didn’t agree. And although they were minor (when compared to our faith) they were plentiful.

(And don’t even get me started on churches that separate you at the door; children go here, youth go here, men go here, women go here, old people go here, young people go here, married people go here, etc. and then wonder why they don’t have “community?” Maybe you don’t have community because you do your best to break up the family – the most foundational community in most of your lives!)

Anyway, at the concert I felt at home, accepted, a part of something.

What we had in common – music – overshadowed the major thing on which we didn’t agree.

Which brings me back to the Church. There is a lot to disagree with.

Do you dunk or do you sprinkle?

is the Earth old or young?

Is Genesis 1 literal or simply a poets explanation?

Did God make all of this in 6 days or over millions of years?

Should women be pastors, teachers, elders, deacons?

Can you be gay and a Christian?

Was there really a world-wide flood?

Did Jesus really rise from the dead?

Here’s the thing, the only question that matters is the Jesus one. Did Jesus rise from the dead?

If not then my faith – and all of Christianity - is false, fake, vanity.

And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is futile and your faith is empty. Also, we are found to be false witnesses about God, because we have testified against God that he raised Christ from the dead, when in reality he did not raise him, if indeed the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is useless; you are still in your sins. Furthermore, those who have fallen asleep in Christ have also perished. For if only in this life we have hope in Christ, we should be pitied more than anyone.

I Corinthians 15:14-19

There you have it, God’s Achilles Heal.

Want to disprove Christianity once and for all, then disprove the resurrection of Jesus.

As far as I can tell that is the only way to do so.

Disprove creation? Great, we were wrong about how God created the world.

Disprove the flood? Fine, we were wrong about our understanding of that story.

Disprove the Tower of Babble? Awesome, we were mistaken again.

But disprove the resurrection of Jesus and you disprove all of Christianity.

So what did Peter Murphy and She Wants Revenge teach me about community?

They taught me this; to have community I need to NOT focus on the minors, and Christianity has a lot of minors. Instead, lets focus on the majors (we once called them the Fundamentals of the faith) and show a little grace, patience and love with the others.

What do you say? You in?

In Community, Hope, Music that Matters
permalink

Communion

May 1, 2013 — 2 Comments

(I’ve heard a lot of people serve Communion. Most try to tie it back to a sermon they just heard and their unpreparedness shows. This isn’t my “I could do it better” thing; this is simply what I would say if I served Communion.)

I’d join the movement if there was one I could believe in.

Yea, I would break bread and wine if there was a church I could receive in.

Because I need it now…

U2 – Acrobat

I was going to start this with “I grew up in a tradition where communion was…”

The thing is that I don’t remember taking communion that often until college.

I don’t have this deep-rooted emotional attachment to it.

I don’t see youthful tradition (habit?) when I meander down memory lane.

God and me bonding over the bread and wine is not a picture that my memory paints.

Regardless, somewhere along the way in my ongoing understanding of communion I found 1 Corinthians 11:27-30.

For this reason, whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord. A person should examine himself first, and in this way let him eat the bread and drink of the cup. For the one who eats and drinks without careful regard for the body eats and drinks judgment against himself. That is why many of you are weak and sick, and quite a few are dead.

Yikes!

Really?

People have DIED because of the way they took communion?

Holy smokes this is serious. So, let me say this.

This is my story.

I don’t want to lead you to a wrong understanding of communion. I’m simply sharing my story (my testimony) as it relates to how I receive the bread and the cup.

Somewhere along the way – I truly don’t know where or why – I started to wonder if the “unworthy” part was talking about me. As in “am I worthy to take communion?”

Here’s the problem: When I examine myself to see if I am worthy I don’t like what I see.

As I wrote here, I have my own $h!t.

You may not see it, but I do.

And God does.

And He and I both know that if it is up to me then I am never worthy to receive communion.

So yea, every time I ask myself if I am worthy to eat the bread and drink the wine the answer is no, I am not worthy.

But I think that is the point.

If I am worthy then I don’t need what the bread and wine remember.

If I am worthy then I don’t need the broken bread; Jesus’ flesh which was for me broken.

If I am worthy then I don’t need the wine; Jesus’ blood which was for me spilled.

But I’m not.

So I do.

So when I eat the bread and drink the wine I bow my head, I beat my chest, and I say, “God, be merciful to me, sinner that I am!”

If I am worthy then I don’t need the bread and I don’t need the wine.

But I’m not.

So I do.

In Hope, Music that Matters
permalink

God is Bigger than my $h!t

April 12, 2013 — 4 Comments

I do not usually join online conversations when the topic is God, faith, religion, etc.

It is not because I am ashamed of my God, my faith, or my religion.

It is because God is bigger than my faith and my religion. And He is most certainly bigger than a tweet, a Facebook status update or a clever meme.

God is big. The God idea is big. The God conversation is big.

God is bigger than evolution.

God is bigger than abortion.

God is bigger than “the gay agenda” or even the “Hollywood agenda.”

God is bigger than my shit.

God is bigger than your shit.

I am sorry that so many Christians forget that we have our own shit or act like our shit does not stink.

When, in actuality, our shit probably stinks even more than your shit.

So here is what I will say.

Jesus did not die to prove me right and you wrong.

Jesus did not die to prove you right and me wrong.

Jesus did not die so that you would not @#$% around before you get married or after you get married.

Jesus did not die so that you would not get an abortion after you @#$% around.

Jesus did not die so that you would not @#$% around with another man.

Jesus did not die so that you would not @#$% around with another woman.

Jesus died because God loves you and wants you to be reconciled to Him.

Jesus did not die to disprove evolution.

Jesus did not die to prove creationism.

Jesus did not die to prove evolution.

Jesus did not dies to disprove creationism.

Jesus died because He loves you and wants you to be reconciled to Him.

Jesus did not die so that you would not dance, drink, smoke or chew (or even date the girls that do).

Jesus did not die so that you would not watch Rated R movies (except for the Passion of the Christ, of course).

Yes, these topics are important and yes, God has something to say about them.

But God is bigger than any one of these topics and He is bigger than all of these topics.

Here is what I know: God loves me and God loves you.

I do not know why He loves us so much, especially since you and I can be so unlovable.

But He does.

So much so that he would die for you.

And that one thing is worth sharing.

God loves me and wants me to love Him. I will let Him take care of all my other shit.

God loves you and wants you to love Him. I will let Him take care of all your other shit.

In Infant Salvation
permalink

MLK

January 21, 2013 — Leave a comment

MLK

In Infant Salvation
permalink

My Testimony

November 25, 2012 — Leave a comment

So, my testimony is this: I trust in a God that I do not always understand and I continue to love a savior that I do not always like.

But like the father from Mark, chapter 9, I cry out, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”

In Infant Salvation
permalink

Bono and Duality

September 11, 2012 — Leave a comment

“Duality is the mark of a lot of great art and it’s one of the things missing from a lot of, for instance, Christian art, because there’s no tension.”

Amen Bono. Amen.

In Infant Salvation
permalink

I feel like this today…

September 10, 2012 — Leave a comment
Rage

Today I feel like this….

In Infant Salvation
permalink
Infant_Salvation_Grave

In Defense of Infant Salvation – a study from the Book of Job – Part 2 – Rest in Peace

July 17, 2012 — 2 Comments

In Defense of Infant Salvation - a study from the Book of Job - Part 2 – Rest in Peace?

As stated earlier this is a look at the biblical book of Job and how it relates to Infant Salvation.

That is all. There is a LOT in the book of Job. This is not a defense or decree of anything else.

Last week we looked at part of Job chapter one to see that Job, the man, has some understanding of sin and of substitutional atonement.

This week we will take a look at part of Job chapter three.

(Job 3:11-19 NET)
“Why did I not die at birth, and why did I not expire as I came out of the womb? Why did the knees welcome me, and why were there two breasts that I might nurse at them?

For now I would be lying down and would be quiet, I would be asleep and then at peace with kings and counselors of the earth who built for themselves places now desolate, or with princes who possessed gold, who filled their palaces with silver.

Or why was I not buried like a stillborn infant, like infants who have never seen the light? There the wicked cease from turmoil, and there the weary are at rest.”
(Job 3:11-17 NET)

Job wished he was dead.

Yes, it is a bit morbid.

It is a bit depressing.

And it is a bit emo.

It actually reminds me a bit of the Smiths’ How Soon is Now, ”And you go home, and you cry, and you want to die.”

So what happened between Job’s substitutional sacrifice for his kids (Job 1:4-5) and this desire for death?

By Satan’s hand — but with God’s permission – Job lost everything.

Job’s riches (cattle) were stolen or destroyed (Job 1:13-17).

Job’s children were killed at one of their parties (Job 1:18-19).

Job even lost his health (Job 2:1-7).

The only thing he didn’t lose was his wife, and her best advice was for Job to curse God so God would kill him. Nice. Thanks babe.

At this point in the story — after losing everything – Job makes this declaration of his desire for death.

Dying – whether in the womb or at birth – would have been better than living the life he led, which was filled with crazy amounts of loss.

“Why did I not die at birth, and why did I not expire as I came out of the womb? Why did the knees welcome me, and why were there two breasts that I might nurse at them?”

He goes on to lament, “Or why was I not buried like a stillborn infant, like infants who have never seen the light?”

Job’s lament is pretty clear.

Dying as an infant would have been better than his life, which was filled with crazy amounts of loss.

Even Job’s “visuals” are compelling.

Why did the knees welcome me? I wish I had died and did not see them.

Why were there two breasts to nurse? I wish I was dead and did not need to nurse.

But why?

Because he, Job, wanted rest, quiet and peace in the midst of his lose, trials, tribulations, or whatever we would call it.

“For now I would be lying down and would be quiet, I would be asleep and then at peace…”

Job longed for rest.

Job longed for quiet.

Job longed for peace.

Job’s loss was so large and his agony so great that he would have rather died as an infant. He would have rather died as an infant than lived the life he led or lost what he lost.

It does not seem that Job held to the “it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all” philosophy.

No, Job says it would have been better to have died as an infant – to have never actually lived life – than to go through what he went through.

Have you ever felt that much pain? Can you relate?

Job is nothing if not honest.

But this is about Infant Salvation.

Job – who we already knows believes in substitutional atonement – seems to believe that dying as an infant would have been better than living the life that he led.

So, is this the poetic – or even metaphoric – ramblings of a man experiencing extreme loss?

Or is this the “theological” understanding of a man who still trusts God?

I think both.

Next time we will look at what Job says about the after-death-life and if it applies to any of this.

Until next time.

In Defense of Infant Salvation – a study from the Book of Job - Introduction
In Defense of Infant Salvation – a study from the Book of Job - Part 1 – Substitutional Atonement

 

Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/jokerphotography/2154887761/

In Infant Salvation
permalink
Infant-Salvation-Substitional-Atonement1

In Defense of Infant Salvation – a study from the Book of Job – Part 1 – Substitutional Atonement

July 9, 2012 — Leave a comment

In Defense of Infant Salvation - a study from the Book of Job - Part 1 – Substitutional Atonement

There was a man in the land of Uz whose name was Job. And that man was pure and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. Seven sons and three daughters were born to him. His possessions included 7,000 sheep, 3,000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, and 500 female donkeys; in addition he had a very great household. Thus he was the greatest of all the people in the east.
Now his sons used to go and hold a feast in the house of each one in turn, and they would send and invite their three sisters to eat and to drink with them. When the days of their feasting were finished, Job would send for them and sanctify them; he would get up early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job thought, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s customary practice. (Job 1:1-5 NET)

Job was rich and had a lot of kids, seven boys and three girls.

It appears that his riches afforded his kids the ability to party, and apparently to party often as it was their “habit or ritual.”

Job’s ritual, however, was to offer a sacrifice to God on their behalf.

Job was concerned that while partying it up they would sin against God. This did not sit well with Job so after they did party he would offer a sacrifice to God on behalf of his kids.

Let me offer a few observations in light of infant salvation:

First, this is *not* an age or an age of accountability thing. Job’s children were old enough to know better. They were old enough to know what they did or did not do.

Job knew that sin is a big deal.

He knew that his children’s sin negatively affected their relationship with God.

Job knew that God required (demanded?) a payment for sin.

Because of this Job made a payment for his kid’s sin.

As I stated in the intro I firmly believe that the story Job is ”pre Law” and that the detailed sacrificial system was not yet in place. Regardless, Job knew that sin was a big deal and he made a payment for their sin.

Job understands substitutional sacrifice or substitutional atonement.

Job did not sin against God, his children did (or might have). His kids committed the offense. Job, however, is the one who made the payment.

This idea – someone else paying the price – is foundational to the historical gospel story.

We sin.

We are separated from God (the Father).

We are restored to God through Jesus’ (God, the Son) death and resurrection.

We don’t pay the price, just like Job’s children didn’t pay the price.

We benefit from someone else’s sacrifice, just like Job’s children did.

Job teaches us a lot about infant salvation. The first thing he teaches us is substitutional atonement.

More in the weeks ahead.

In Do aborted babies go to heaven?, Infant Salvation, Infant Salvation - The Book of Job
permalink