Author: saintdepraved

you are the pleasure and you are the pain
you’re the rhythm inside me and inside my veins
you are the blindness that helpsme to see
you’ve infected me

inside me you bind me and make me insane
you’re the movement inside me and inside my brain
you are the faith that helps me believe
you’ve infected me

you are the purpose and you are my fate
you’re the reason inside me and inside my hate
you are the pleasure that helps me to please
you’ve infected me

inside me you find me and make me vibrate
you’re the actor inside me and inside my bait
you are the lesson that helps me to leave
you’ve infected me

another day to say hello, another one to laugh
another day to merge as one, as we lay upon the grass
and push ourselves into togetherness

today we’ll be to quiet, and stare into the sky
today we’ll not make a noise, today we’ll act so shy
as we wonder why

another day to cry, another one to weep
another day to mourn, our forgotten dreams
as tonight we drift asleep

today we’ll have each other, in a violent rage
today we’ll fight and quarrel, until anther day
then we’ll go our separate ways

another day is here, and you’re all alone
today it seems so empty, with out you here to hold
so why must you still go away

(unfinished)

i decreed to test the pleasure

but none i found could satisfy

none could fill my apatite

and none could fill my eyes

i decreed to test the pleasure

to drink the wine the blood of life

taste the wine when lost in sorrow

taste the wine when lost in strife

i decreed to test the pleasure

to test the pleasure of my eyes

but visions can not soothe the soul

and visions can not satisfy

i decreed to test the pleasure

to test the pleasure of the skin

but flesh was left still wanting more

and flesh was left still wanting sin

(To Walt Whitman in response to As I Ponder’d in Silence.)

i

your muse was wrong

your phantom lied

we do not write of war at all

we write of love

we write of love!

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of war

the love of death as all must fall

we write of love

the love of death

we write of love and nothing more

ii

we write of love

the love of death

the love of war since all crusade

we write of love

the love of war

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of loss

the love of pain since all betray

we write of love

the love of pain

we write of love and nothing more

iii

we write of love

the love of pain

the love of loss since all will bruise

we write of love

the love of loss

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of sex

the love of touch that all will lose

we write of love

the love of touch

we write of love and nothing more

iv

we write of love

the love of touch

the love of sex that we require

we write of love

the love of sex

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of God

the love of Love that all desire

we write of love

the love of Love

we write of love and nothing more

v

we write of love

the love of Love

the love of God since all have sinned

we write of love

the love of God

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of want

the love of need we all pretend

we write of love

the love of need

we write of love and nothing more

vi

we write of love

the love of need

the love of want since all are numb

we write of love

the love of want

we write of love and nothing more

we write of love

the love of sin

the love of  self since all succumb

we write of love

the love of self

we write of love and nothing more

vii

we write of love

the love of self

the love of sin since all will fall

we write of love

the love of sin

we write of love and nothing more

your phantom lied

your muse was wrong

we do not write of war at all

we write of love

we write of love!

we write of love and nothing more

(A prayer…)

is this part of the battle and is this part of the fight

is this part of the way we were

before i fell apart last night

is this part of salvation and is this part of the grace

is this part of the way we were

before i fell from your embrace

is this part of the struggle and is this part of the rage

is this part of the way we were

before i fell into this cage

is this part of redemption and is this part of the hope

is this part of the way we were

before i learned that i can’t cope

is this part of the glory and is this part of the joy

is this part of the way we were

before i learned how to destroy

is this part of the fighting and is this part of the game

is this part of the way we were

before i hung my head in shame

(A recent prayer. Makati City, Philippines)

a lifetime ago and a lifetime away

i knew what i wanted and wanted to say

i wanted to love you and trust and obey

a life time ago and a lifetime away

a lifetime away and a lifetime ago

i knew what i wanted and wanted to know

i wanted to love you i wanted to show

a lifetime away and a lifetime ago

a lifetime before and a lifetime behind

i knew what i wanted and wanted to find

i wanted to love and to be kind

a lifetime before and a lifetime behind

a lifetime behind and a lifetime before

i knew what i wanted and wanted to score

i wanted to love you and wanted to soar

a lifetime behind and a lifetime before

(“Son she moves like she knows how to please” was written years ago. The rest was written in Cuba to a guy about to lose the girl he was too blind to see.)

son she moves like she’s ready to love

son she moves like a beautiful dove

son she moves like a woman in need

son she moves like she knows how to please

son she moves like she’s ready to dance

son she moves like a steamy romance

son she moves like she wants to be bare

son she moves like she’s already there

son she moves like she’s ready to leave

son she moves like she wants to believe

son she moves like a stupid love song

son she moves like she’s already gone

Written in Cuba in 2005.

i’m so afraid i’ll never change

afraid my heart won’t rearrange

afraid my mind won’t be renewed

afraid my life won’t live in you

i’m so afraid i’ll never live

afraid you will not still forgive

afraid you will not hear my screams

afraid i will not be redeemed

i’m so afraid i’ll never see

the son you took away from me

afraid my faith will not survive

afraid i’ll not see him alive

i’m so afraid i’ll never be

justified, forgiven, free

afraid of daniel’s lion den

afraid i’m judas with his sin

how can i praise you with these lips that lie

and how can i love you with this hearts that’s broken

how can i praise you with this tongue that’s tied

and how can i love you with these sins unspoken

how can i seek you with these eyes so blind still searching for their earthly pleasure

how can i reach you with these hand that bind still grasping for their earthly treasurer

how can i praise you with these lips unclean

and how can i love you with this hearts that’s aching

how can i praise you with these sins unseen

and how can i love you with this heart still breaking

but i love you for you first loved me and i praise you with a heart that’s free

but i love you for you first loved me and i praise you with a mouth You cleaned

these sins i thought i left behind

are the sins i can not help but find

these sins that will not disappear

are the sins that cripple me with fear

these sins i thought i left behind

are the sins that separate my kind

the sins that will not go away

are the sins destroying me today