Saint. Depraved.

(Written after the death of my son Jude. this is my reply to Job 38… Not about a loss of faith, but instead of unbelief.) tonight’s the night i ask the questionstonight’s the night i question whywhere were you when my son was sleepingwhere were you the day he died…

I use to hear it every day, “God gave you the gift of faith!” But now I know what faiths about, since death gave me the gift of doubt

(Not what it sounds like.) i sorrow became my secret loveand grief became my mistressand the grave became my lover’s lair tears became my lover’s winethe never ending temptresswhen we became a romantic pair for when sorrow calls i can’t resistthe sweetness of my love’s releasecalling me back to my…

(Based on the form of an Italian sonnet. This is about a lack of faith, and not a loss of it.) we already know that i’ve fallen from gracewith secrets that no one should telldoes God even know that i already fellthat i no longer can find His face we…

you are the pleasure and you are the painyou’re the rhythm inside me and inside my veinsyou are the blindness that helpsme to seeyou’ve infected me inside me you bind me and make me insaneyou’re the movement inside me and inside my brainyou are the faith that helps me believeyou’ve…

another day to say hello, another one to laughanother day to merge as one, as we lay upon the grassand push ourselves into togetherness today we’ll be to quiet, and stare into the skytoday we’ll not make a noise, today we’ll act so shyas we wonder why another day to…

(unfinished) i decreed to test the pleasure but none i found could satisfy none could fill my apatite and none could fill my eyes i decreed to test the pleasure to drink the wine the blood of life taste the wine when lost in sorrow taste the wine when lost…

(To Walt Whitman in response to As I Ponder’d in Silence.) i your muse was wrong your phantom lied we do not write of war at all we write of love we write of love! we write of love and nothing more we write of love the love of war…

(A prayer…) is this part of the battle and is this part of the fight is this part of the way we were before i fell apart last night is this part of salvation and is this part of the grace is this part of the way we were before…